


you can hear it in the silence

by whatlighttasteslike (waitingforeleven)



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: 2x11, Academy Era, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - The Good Place (TV) Fusion, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Babies, Cuddling & Snuggling, Deleted Scenes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Framework aftermath, Hallucinations, Hopeful Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Nervousness, New Parents, Nightmares, Parenthood, Post 4x22, Promises, Recovery, Sharing a Bed, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, post 4x15, post 5x08
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-07
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2018-09-22 17:34:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 16,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9618068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitingforeleven/pseuds/whatlighttasteslike
Summary: A collection of FitzSimmons drabbles.Synopsis of latest chapter: Fitz visits Jemma on the ramp following Trip's death.





	1. New to This Planet

**Author's Note:**

> This piece was written for bioforensics on tumblr.

Jemma awoke with a start, sitting straight up in bed and feeling disoriented from actually staying asleep for more than two hours at a time. Rubbing her eyes, she peered at the alarm clock on the nightstand. 5:37 a.m. Although she didn’t have to go into work for obvious reasons, she knew she would have to get up in the next hour. Her new circumstances were not going to suddenly allow her to sleep in by any means.

Her body still ached from the last few days, but luckily her headache from the night before had finally subsided. She’d experienced much more strenuous tasks than this, surviving for six months on an unknown planet, for one, but she welcomed this sort of pain and exhaustion.

Noticing the empty space next to her on the bed, she fell back on her pillow with a sigh. She knew where he was. _Predictable man_.

After a couple moments of silence where she debated whether she should try falling back to sleep for a few precious minutes, she heard Fitz’s voice softly through the monitor on their nightstand.

_I know you’ve only been on this planet for a few days, but you’re already perfect, do you know that?_

A smile creeped on Jemma’s face. This wasn’t the first time he’d done this, sneaking off in the middle of the night to allow Jemma get some much needed sleep. But part of her knew it wasn’t just their child’s crying that brought Fitz to the nursery so early in the morning. He just couldn’t get enough. 

Rolling over on the bed to pick up the monitor, she held it up to her ear so she could hear his words more clearly.

_You know what’s great about this planet? You can do whatever you want. You can be a scientist, an engineer, an astronaut—although, I would advise against that, since your mother and I tend to have poor luck when it comes to the cosmos, but more figuratively speaking, so the option’s still open._

Jemma let out a soft chuckle. “Avoiding space may be a good idea,” she said to herself into the darkness of their bedroom. She continued to listen, but didn’t hear is voice anymore, so she wondered if he was on his way back to their room when she suddenly heard him start whispering again. 

_Whatever you do, you’re going to make us so proud. And I know that doesn’t make sense now, but it will. You’ll always know how special you are. We’ll make sure of that._

Bringing her hands up to cover her eyes, she forced herself not to get emotional, as it was too early for that, so she pulled the covers off her legs and made her way to the small nursery down the hall. She arrived to find the door open, so she leaned against the doorframe, watching Fitz quietly in pure awe.

He sensed her presence immediately and turned around, their newborn fast asleep, clutched to his chest. “What? I couldn’t help it. I already missed her.”

“She’s going to be the most adored child on this planet.”

He looked down at the small form resting in his arms. “That’s the plan.” 

Jemma yawned, and then gestured toward their room. “Come on. She can sleep with us.”

His grin was infectious. “Did you hear that?” he murmured against the infant’s forehead. “You get to sleep in the grown-ups’ bed. Lucky you.”

Making their way down the hall, Jemma stopped them for a moment to skim her fingers across her daughter’s small back. “She’s in good hands,” she whispered.

Fitz didn’t respond, but placed a small peck on Jemma’s forehead. She always pictured him being the most caring father in the world, but witnessing it first hand, _well_. That was so much better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


	2. The word of their bodies.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Post 4x15_
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> FitzSimmons hold each other after the events in the Framework.

No matter how much she pressed herself against him, it wasn’t enough. She needed to be  _closer_ , even as their bodies intertwined in the center of their bed, just the clothes on their backs acting as a slight barrier between them. She buried her head into his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart to try and calm her breaths. Each time she tried to move even closer, to feel him meld into her as if they were one, she felt him do the same, tightening his grip around her shoulders and pressing his lips into her hair. She knew her tears were soaking through his shirt, but he didn’t seem to mind.

It was over.

_Finally._

What felt like a lifetime had really only been a few weeks in the Framework, but it didn’t matter. It felt like an eternity. From the moment he switched from being the gentle and caring man she knew and loved to some sort of replica that tried to convince her that their bodies didn’t matter, that  _this_  didn’t matter, she knew she would do everything in her power to prove him, or  _it_ , wrong.

Because their bodies did matter.

Their bodies allowed them to feel each other’s breath when they worked closely in the lab, invading each other’s space and craning over each other’s shoulders to get a closer look at whatever brilliant thing the other was conquering.

Their bodies allowed them to squeeze each other’s hands when they needed something to hold onto, to create an anchor between the two of them when it was too much, just  _too_  much for them to bear without that fierce familiar grip to keep them in balance.

Their bodies allowed them to cling to each other, to  _cradle_  each other after the world tried to rip them apart time and time again, when the cosmos challenged them to six months of being apart, to living on two completely different planets, in two completely different dimensions, and now, in two completely different realities.

Why did they matter?

Because their bodies allowed them to love, to hold, to please. To know that the other was still there. Still breathing. Still alive.

That android? It was wrong.

Their bodies  _did_  matter. Just as much as their minds and their hearts. Because their bodies allowed them to feel whole. To feel solid. To feel  _real_.

His took in a deep breath and as he let it out, she felt him shudder and knew they were feeling the same way. No matter how many times this happened to them, the universe always found a way to somehow make it so much worse. And this time, it was too much. Too much to feel that thrill of going back into the field. To feel that desire to discover something magnificent even if it was a bit dangerous. All of those former feelings were suddenly replaced with the desire to simply  _be_. To live and not have to worry about losing the other to some yet to be discovered danger that most likely awaited them in the future.

Craning her neck, she forced herself to look up at him, even as her eyes blurred and her face nearly crumbled. When he looked down, she found his eyes matched hers, full of pain and exhaustion, but also full of relief. They were on the same page, as always, but she still needed to make sure he understood completely.

“We can’t do this anymore,” she choked out. 

“I know,” he whispered in return, nodding a few times before bringing her back into his chest, cradling her head there as she wrapped her arms tightly around his waist. “We’ll tell them in the morning,” he murmured into her hair. 

That night, they cherished their bodies, full of warmth and comfort, and allowed themselves to finally rest, to finally sleep in peace knowing tomorrow would be different. 

They were done, ready to move on, because enough was enough. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


	3. A Welcome Addition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After welcoming a visitor into their bed, Fitz feels pretty lucky to wake up to not just one, but two of the most important women in his life. 
> 
>  
> 
> _(A continuation of[New to This Planet](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9618068/chapters/21729344))_

They didn’t rise at their normal hour, too overcome with bliss to want to ruin this near perfect morning. Fitz lay on his side, his head propped up against his hand while his other played gently with his daughter’s, her small hand wrapping around the entirety of his index finger. 

As much as he loved the nursery, that  _beautiful_  nursery he put so much time and effort into making a peaceful oasis for their first child, even painting stars on the ceiling to remind her that all she had to do was look up to know how vast and magnificent the universe was, he much preferred having Charlotte here with them, curled up between their two pillows on their king-sized bed. This way, he didn’t miss anything, like the sudden kicking of her legs when she was in a deep sleep, probably dreaming about a world she has yet to discover, or the way she always reached out just a bit farther with her little hand whenever Jemma moved from her side. He always knew she would attach herself to Jemma immediately. He didn’t blame her. 

Jemma rolled over onto her side, still in the midst of waking up, and placed her hand gently on top of her daughter’s chest, stroking back and forth. “Did you turn off the alarm?”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s Saturday, so I don’t know why you even set it.”

Jemma groaned. “I still wanted to get some things checked off our list. We still need to buy a new monkey blanket as she soiled the last one.” 

“True, but she has other blankets, and we can still sleep in. She seems quite pleased with the idea.” He smiled as he looked down at Charlotte, perfectly quiet and content in her leopard print onesie.

“When did you bring her in here?”

“Uhhhh...probably 3 am.”

“ _Fitz_.”

“What? I figured she was lonely.”

“She’s a _month_ old. She can hardly understand the concept of loneliness.”

“I have to disagree with you there. She was a crying fit, but she conked out just fine when I laid her next to you. You were snoring, by the way. Didn’t want to wake you.”

Jemma let out an exaggerated sigh as she stretched her legs out beneath their comforter. “Thanks for that. I don’t know what hit me last night. I didn’t even make it through half the movie.”

Fitz gave her a slight chuckle. “ _Jemma_. You haven’t had a good night’s sleep in a month. You don’t have to explain yourself.” 

“I just don’t want to miss anything.”

“I know,” he replied as moved his eyes back to his daughter’s sleeping form.

Closing her eyes again, Jemma sunk deeper into her pillow, her hand now drawing small circles onto her daughter’s chest.

He never pictured it like this, at least, he tried his hardest not to. Maybe he was being careful to not jinx their future happiness, or to keep his expectations low because he didn’t know how their future child would get on with them, but seeing this picture, this picture of the woman he would give up the world for, lying peacefully next to their greatest creation, it was so much better than anything his mind could conjure.

“I’m never going to get tired of this,” he whispered so softly, he was sure Jemma didn’t even hear him, her breathing now growing steady as she fell back into her slumber.

Even if he didn’t let his mind picture any specifics while they awaited their child’s arrival, he knew deep down that Jemma would be an incredible mum. And as per usual, she was already exceling beyond his belief. It was like she had a sixth sense, always knowing what Charlotte needed before she even started to fuss. But it wasn’t just Jemma’s way of knowing what to do to physically take care of her daughter that astonished him. It was also how wonderful she was just _being_ with Charlotte, taking her for walks in their garden even when her tiny brain couldn’t yet comprehend the beauty of the outside world. Or how she liked to play _Spiegel im Spiegel_ whenever she put the little one down for a nap to allow the peaceful sounds to whisk her into her dreamscape. But most of all, it was the way she spoke to Charlotte about their past life, and how she made it all sound so simple even when those moments were some of the darkest days he had ever experienced.

_One time, Mummy was taken to this strange world, and she didn’t know what to do or if she would ever get back home. But you know what? Daddy found a way. Because he always finds a way._

Even if the world was unpredictable, and knowing their track record, they were bound to encounter at least a handful of obstacles in this next chapter of their lives, at least their daughter would always be sheltered from the darkness.

Shifting carefully on the bed, he reached his arm across the bed to pull Jemma closer to him, cocooning their daughter’s small form between the two of them, and placed his hand on Jemma’s cheek. “I’ve got an idea. Let’s make it our next mission to discover a way to keep her this small _forever_.”

Through a fit of giggles, Jemma placed her hand on the back of his neck, pulling their foreheads together. “Deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


	4. Don't worry about me.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After escaping the Framework, Jemma deals with some unexpected side effects.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: [#31](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you) \- Don't worry about me.

 

She nearly jumped out of her skin the first time she saw him.

She expected nightmares, of course – of being buried alive in that mass grave once again, clawing her way to the surface and the terrifying reality she would find on the other side. But those weren’t so bad, as once she woke in a cold sweat, her body shaking and tears staining her cheeks, all she needed was to invade Fitz’s side of the bed and curl into him to know she was safe, and the Framework was long forgotten. But she didn’t expect the hallucinations.

They didn’t appear immediately. For the first few weeks after escaping the Framework, her and Fitz’s lives were relatively normal, as they spent resting and recuperating from their lost time. Once they were cleared medically, they wasted no time brainstorming ideas for new projects, none of which involved androids or virtual realities, in pursuit of a fresh start. Eager as ever, she made it to the lab early her first day back, but the quiet lab quickly became anything but peaceful, and she soon regretted coming in alone.

“Well, it’s about time you got back to work.”

The sound of his cold voice behind her sent a chill up her spin, but she thought it was only in her head, so she ignored it. But then he spoke again, saying her name in such a menacing fashion as if it disgusted him to even mutter the word. Turning her head slowly, her breath hitched at the sight of him – his designer suit, his cold stare. She closed her eyes, willing him away, but when she opened them again, he was still there, leaning against the back wall, an empty abyss behind his eyes.

She turned back to her station, not giving him the satisfaction of her eye contact. “You’re not really him, remember? You were programmed to behave that way. _My_ Fitz remembered the real world, even if it took a while. But we left _you_ behind.”

She didn’t hear a response; instead, she heard the sound of his expensive shoes on the hard lab floor as he approached her slowly, rattling her core. Lowering her head down, she let her hair cascade down to cover her face in an effort to shield herself from his gaze. But it didn’t stop him from hovering just inches from her, his breath hot against her ear.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t stick around.”

With great effort, she tried her best to ignore him, and it worked, most of the time. Once Fitz arrived a few minutes later, always a heavier sleeper, the figure would wander off to some other part of the lab. But sometimes he would hover a few feet behind Fitz, taunting her with the image of what could have been had a few details of their lives been altered.

Focusing on her time with Fitz helped. Since their return to the base, they rarely separated, not feeling comfortable without the other even if the Framework was destroyed and they were no longer in immediate danger. She could even go days without the figure appearing. But then it would return, just as haunting as ever, and she felt defeated by her lack of progress. She wanted to move _on_ , but her mind, apparently, wouldn’t let her.

After nearly a month of the figure disappearing and reappearing time and time again, she thought she could handle it, learning how best to ignore him and willing him away with her mind. But then out of nowhere, a different figure appeared, one much more chilling than the first. Because this figure sounded so much more like her Fitz, at first, she didn’t realize he wasn’t real. Well, until she _saw_ him.

She heard his voice when he approached her in the common room while she prepared her tea for the morning.

“Hey, you busy?” he asked.

Without turning around to face him, she closed the carton of milk and opened the refrigerator door. “Just a sec, let me put this away...”

“No rush. I just want to you to look at something.”

When she closed the door and turned around, the air escaped her lungs, and she nearly collapsed on the spot.

It stood frozen, its eyes glaring into her soul, but all she could see was the blood. It soaked through his shirt from the half dozen stab wounds consuming its chest – the most gruesome one, the one that held her eyes, at the base of his neck. It shook its head slightly, gesturing towards its chest. “You did this. We could have had everything.”

Jemma clutched her hand around her stomach. “No.”

“We could have had _everything_.”

“ _No_.” She started to back away, feeling behind her for the counter to steady herself. But it followed, pointing a finger at her accusingly.

“We could’ve gotten _married_ , lived a fuller, _better_ life than this. We didn’t need our bodies because the Framework would have protected us from everything. It would have protected _you_.”

“Stop. _Stop_. That’s not true. You’re not real!” With one hand against the counter, she covered her eyes with the other, curling into herself as much as possible. “You’re just in my head. _Please_ , leave me alone.”

He reached out, placing a firm hand on her shoulder and lowing his voice to just a whisper. “But _no_. You had to do _this_ to me. And now look where you are. Stuck in this world, in this organization, where you can get killed at any moment. Is that what you _want_?”

“GET OUT OF MY _HEAD_!”

The pressure on her shoulder suddenly disappeared, and she took in a quick breath. Hesitantly, she cracked open her eyes and found the common room empty. Feeling her stomach lurch, she quickly turned around and barely made it to the trashcan before emptying out the contents of her stomach. Sweat began to collect on her forehead, and she took in multiple shaky breaths before she straightened herself up.

She knew she shouldn’t be working in her condition, so she went back to her bunk to try to rest, but her stomach was still in knots, so she ended up sitting on the bathroom floor just in case, gently sipping water as her head slowly stopped spinning and her breathing began to even out. But she knew her absence from the lab wouldn’t go unnoticed, so it wasn’t long before she heard a keycard swiped at her door.

“Jemma?”

“In here,” she called out softly.

She looked up when Fitz appeared at the doorway, hoping she didn’t look as miserable as she felt. But one look at his face told her he was already worried.

His brows furrowed through his concern. “Did you get sick?”

She shrugged. “A little. But don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Probably just something I ate.”

Letting out a slow breath, he lowered himself onto the floor next to her and bumped her shoulder. “Jemma, you’re barely eating as it is,” he said, pulling her hand into his lap. “Maybe you should take some more time. I’m sure Coulson would understand.”

“But I don’t want to take any more time. I want to get back to work, in the lab, with _you_. It’s not like I’m having nightmares anymore.”

“Yes, but are you still seeing him?”

She swallowed hard. “What?” she asked, trying her best to sound oblivious.

He lowered his eyes, smiling sympathetically. “Jemma. You don’t have to pretend. I figured it out a while ago.”

“Oh,” she replied weakly.

“I noticed you looking over my shoulder a lot. I didn’t want to bring it up, wanted to wait for you to come to me when you were ready. But now it feels like I should have asked sooner. What did the arsehole do this time?”

She shook her head. “It wasn’t him. Instead, it was... _it_. Looking like it did right after I stabbed it.”

“ _Jesus_ ,” he said through a quick breath.

“That’s why I…” she used her hand to mimic her vomiting, “…you know.”

Nodding in understanding, he reached his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to him.

She sighed into his chest. “How long did it take for your hallucinations to stop? How did you…stop seeing her?”

Taking in a deep breath, he shrugged slightly. “It took a while. I still saw her here and there even after you came back, mostly in the lab when I was alone. But she would disappear once you walked in. I guess my mind learned to let go.” He paused to shift them around so she was facing him head on, and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. “But you shouldn’t expect yours to disappear as easily. Mine was a version of you, yes, but she helped me, talked to me when it felt like I couldn’t speak to anyone else. Yours are trying to _frighten_ you, get under your skin. It’s a different situation.”

“I just want them to go away,” she whispered as she hung her head.

“They will. Eventually. Trust me, you’ll get through this.” He placed his hand on her cheek to lift her head. “What do they say to you, exactly?”

“They just taunt me, talking about how I shouldn’t want live in this world if there’s a better one out there. But I know that’s not true, so I don’t know why I’m letting them get to me.”

“Hey, you don’t have to explain it,” he reassured her, shaking his head. “That version of myself did… _horrible_ things in the Framework. And my LMD manipulated you, physically harmed you even though it said it wouldn’t. That’s enough to mess with your mind, and they’re not going to be easy to forget.”

“I don’t know what to do though,” she said, intertwining their hands in her lap. “It’s not like I want a different life.”

“I know.” He paused to pull in his lips. “I think you just have to move forward as much as you can. Yes, this world is messy, but it’s our world. So let’s make the most of it.”

Her lip curled into a smile. “Where should we start?”

“Well, I can think of one idea.” He pulled his hand free, but only to touch at the light chain around her neck where a small ring was hidden underneath the collar of her blouse. “I think we should tell everyone.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Gently, he reached behind her neck to undo the clasp, pulled the ring off the chain, and placed it carefully on her finger. He lifted her hand up to his lips. “I would kiss you right now, but I reckon your breath is pretty rotten.”

Bursting into a laughing fit, she leaned her forehead into his shoulder and curled her arm around his. Once she recovered, she met his eyes with a more serious expression. “I’ll tell Coulson tomorrow, and see if there’s someone I can talk to.”

“Yeah, that’s a good idea. I could go with you, if you want.”

“No,” she replied, shaking her head. “I think that would defeat the purpose. I need to beat this on my own.”

“You will.”

Through a soft smile, she leaned forward to place a gentle peck on his cheek, ignoring his mock attempt to squirm away, and secured her arms around his neck.

If fighting the hallucinations meant living her life here as happily as possible with Fitz – _well_ , she thought – that didn’t seem so difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


	5. There's enough room for both of us.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #57 - There is enough room for both of us.

 

_ College AU _

 

Jemma lifted her head from Fitz’s lap to look around the dark living room, finding their friends sound asleep. The television was paused, Netflix asking if they wanted to watch another episode, so Fitz reached for the remote and switched the screen back to the browse menu. “I think we’ve watched enough pilots for one night,” he whispered.

“That last one was a bit dull, wasn’t it? And it _is_ four in the morning.”

“What?” he asked, glancing down at his watch. “Christ, I didn’t even realize.”

Jemma glanced around, taking in the rather amusing sleeping arrangements. Bobbi and Hunter were on the floor spooning. Daisy and Trip, always the interesting pair, were somehow lying upright back-to-back on the love-seat, a pillow in between them. And Elena was curled up in a ball on the recliner as Mack laid sprawled out on his stomach underneath the coffee table. Which was how Jemma and Fitz found themselves sharing the sofa all to themselves.

Smiling, she resumed her place happily at his side, thanking the gods for a night like this. It was pure luck, really - that both of her roommates happened to take trips for the weekend, leaving her alone in the apartment, which allowed her to plan a night in with her friends for once. And that Fitz _happened_ to be free for the night as well.

Before their night of Netflix began, she made sure she was seated directly next to him on the sofa, even sharing a blanket with him to make them more comfortable in the chilly apartment. When they started the pilot episode of Lost many hours ago, she kept her expectations of moving things along with Fitz relatively low, so she did not expect to feel his pinky finger suddenly curl around hers underneath the blanket, or how that turned into two fingers crossing over hers, and then three, and then he was _holding her hand_ and she thought she might burst.

As the hours passed, the countless TV episodes blurring together and Fitz never letting go of her hand, Jemma gradually stretched her legs out along the sofa as she leaned into his side, which eventually led to her resting her head on his lap. He followed her movements, placing his arm around her waist and finding her hand again to hold on top of the blanket.  In her peripheral vision, she could see Daisy smiling in the corner, silently cheering them on. But now everyone was asleep, and the question of how the two of them would retire for the night filled Jemma’s mind.

Through a stifled yawn, Fitz stretched his arms above his head. “You can go sleep in your bedroom if you want. Probably much more comfortable.”

“Oh, that seems hardly fair. Everyone else wakes up with an aching back except me?

He shrugged “Alright, suit yourself. I’ll sleep on the floor, then.” He moved to get up, but she reached for his sleeve, pulling him back down onto the sofa.

“What, _no_. There’s enough room for both of us.” She gestured with her eyes at the rather large sofa.

His eyes widened. “Wha-oh, okay. If you don’t…I mean, if you don’t mind.”

“ _Shut up_. Here. Lay on your back.”

He did as she instructed, a slight blush consuming his cheeks while she retrieved a pair of pillows from her bedroom. When she returned, she offered him one, and then placed the other on his chest to stretch herself cozily on top of him. She didn’t want him to feel too uncomfortable by her forwardness, so she used the pillow as a small barrier between them to ease the slight awkward tension. But the position still allowed her to intertwine their fingers and rest them against his chest.

“This okay?” she asked.

“Mmm…uh..yeah. This is…this is good.”

“Good. Goodnight Fitz.”

“Night Jemma.”

As much as she tried to relax in her current predicament, her heart raced from her excitement and utter astonishment that this was actually happening. Jemma Simmons, who barely made an effort to speak to guys she found interesting, let alone the particular guy she currently had a raging crush on, was now sleeping on _top_ of him, and he didn’t seem to mind.

A few minutes passed, neither of them seeming to fall asleep, and Jemma felt him shift a bit underneath her. 

“Jemma?” he barely whispered.

“Hmm?”

“Are you still awake?”

“Yes, obviously.”

He let out a deep breath. “Okay, well, I don’t…I don’t know what this is. This… _thing_ we’re doing. And I’m not that great at relationships or anything. But I want you to know that I like where this is..uh.. _going_. But I don’t want to move too fast, or whatever, and I want to respect your boundaries and all that, because you’re really nice, and I don’t to mess this up—”

“ _Fitz_.”

“What?”

Lifting herself up from his chest, she moved upwards and captured his lips in a sudden slow and gentle kiss. He froze for a moment, obviously perplexed my her sudden eagerness, but quickly relaxed against her, moving his lips with hers and curling his arm around her back.

She pulled back after a few seconds, wanting to save more for later, but lingered close to his face and drew her finger down his jaw. “Go to sleep. We can talk in the morning.”

He nodded his head quickly. “Yep, that sounds-that’s a _good_ idea.”

Sinking into his shoulder, now abandoning the pillow barrier, she did her best to let her mind drift, but the feeling of his chest moving in tandem with hers, and for a moment what she thought were his lips pressed gently to the top of her head, she knew she wasn’t going to get much sleep that night, but she really didn’t care.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


	6. Just because.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #24 - Just because.

Fitz placed his hands on his hips, admiring his work as he waited impatiently for Jemma to come home. He’d moved the coffee table, collected all the pillows and blankets from the apartment to create a cozy oasis on the floor, and even placed candles on every possible surface because he thought it looked nice, and well, he just felt like being romantic. As he dimmed the lights just in time, he heard the key turn in the lock, signaling her return. When the door opened, he turned to see Jemma slowly walking into the apartment, her eyes lighting up as she took in the glowing scene before her.

“Fitz, what have you…”

“I thought you might like a night in. Just because. It’s not much. Just dinner and a movie. Your choice, of course.”

Dropping her bag on the floor, she bit her lip and rushed forward to pull him into an embrace, wrapping her arms snugly around him middle. “Thank you,” she murmured into his chest. “This is lovely. And I’m _starving_.”

“Good,” he replied softly before pressing his lips to her hairline.

After letting her change into her pajamas, they propped themselves against the sofa and tugged the blankets around them, balancing the pizza box on their knees. While he placed a slice on a plate for her, Jemma sifted through the stack of DVDs, quickly tossing out several picks before choosing one and flipping over the box. “Oh, I haven’t seen this one yet!”

Fitz raised his eyebrows. “Uhhh, are you sure?”

“Yes, why? Is there something wrong with it? I thought you saw it with Coulson.”

“ _No_ , I mean, yeah, I did. It’s _great_. I just didn’t know if you’d be in the mood for it.”

“Fitz, I’ve heard nothing but good things. Plus, she’s _British_.” She excitedly pointed at the picture on the DVD cover, smiling widely.

Shrugging slightly, he nodded his head. “Alright then,” he replied, and then moved to insert the disc into the player.

As the opening music filled the apartment, Jemma leaned her head onto Fitz’s shoulder. He sighed contently, as they didn’t often have the opportunity to stay in like this, just enjoying each other’s company, spending time as a couple watching a movie together. Plus, watching a movie with Jemma was always an experience. He loved how she clung to him during intense sequences, or searched for his eyes when she found something surprising or hilarious. But most of all, he loved how she became completely absorbed in the story, often growing silent until the credits rolled. That’s when he knew she truly loved it. And with her particular choice for the night, he wasn’t surprised when she didn’t make a sound for the entire second half of the movie.

Once the theme music brought the movie to a close, Fitz sat up a bit and squeezed Jemma’s shoulder. “Did you like it? I liked how it connects perfectly with the next one, them handing off the plans and all that. If you’re up for it, we could watch A New Hope next.”

When he didn’t hear an immediate response, he looked down to find her sniffling into his t-shirt as she fought back tears, trails already painting her cheeks. Immediately, he moved his hand to her face to wipe them away. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Her face contorted, which only heightened his concern. He moved his thumb across her cheek, but that only seemed to make her tears fall more rapidly.

After a few shaky breaths, she pulled herself together enough to respond. “Why didn’t you warn me? Everyone dies and you didn’t warn me? I thought we were watching Star Wars, not _Les Mis_.”

“Well, I thought you would have figured it out since their characters aren’t mentioned in the original trilogy, but I guess—”

“No, I didn’t _figure it out_. How was I supposed to know, them talking about _hope_ throughout the whole thing.” Her voice broke on her last word as her face crumbled, and she fell forward, burying her face into this shoulder.

Fitz quickly wrapped his arms around her, moving his hand up and down her back in soothing motions. “Oh, God. Jemma. Hey, it’s alright.” She continued to weep quietly, but Fitz couldn’t help the smile forming on his face as he tried desperately to stifle a chuckle. He expected she would be moved by the story, but he didn’t expect…well, _this_.  

He moved his hand up to stroke through her hair. “I’m sorry. I guess I should have realized you would have a more… _emotional_ reaction to it. Did you still enjoy it?”

She pulled back and nodded, her face suddenly lighting up. “Yes, it was _brilliant_. Still bloody heartbreaking though. How old were they supposed to be?”

“Younger than us, I believe.”

“Good lord.” Pulling her hands up, she wiped away the last of her tears and took in a steadying breath.  

“So…I guess A New Hope is out of the question?”

“Oh, god. _Too soon_.” She laid her head back on his shoulder and urged him to sink down with her onto the pillows so they were curled up on the floor. “But this is fine. This is nice.”

“Yeah, it is.” He pulled her in closer and smiled contently as she nuzzled into his neck. And they nearly drifted off, wrapped up in each other comfortably despite the hard floor beneath them, but Jemma suddenly propped her head up and searched for his eyes.

“They kissed in the elevator, right?”

Chuckling, he pulled her back down to touch their foreheads together. “Of course, they did,” he whispered, and then softly brushed his lips against hers.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


	7. Stay over.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> #66 - Stay over.

 

_Academy Era AU_

~

He hated to admit it – he wasn’t surprised when he received the text message at one in the morning asking if she could come to his apartment. His place was a closer distance from the bar than hers, and he didn’t want her trucking all that way in the harsh weather. But the real reason was that Jemma had spent the evening out with several girls from the event planning committee, many of which he was _not_ too fond of, and he assumed it wasn’t the most enjoyable evening for his best friend.

A few weeks ago, her mum called inquiring about her social life, and suggested she spend some time with some of the girls from her building to broaden her horizons. Jemma seemed optimistic, saying she could treat it as an experiment to see if should could attract some new girlfriends if she simply spent some time doing normal social activities, but Fitz was worried, knowing these girls weren’t the sort to find discussing her latest chem experiments a fascinating way to spend a Friday night. He wanted to be wrong, hoping Jemma would meet someone friendly for a nice conversation or a person she could turn to when Fitz wasn’t available. But alas, he received her text while he was half asleep and sent her a quick reply saying he would leave a light on for her.

When the soft knock came a few minutes later, he smoothed out his hair and pulled the door open quickly, not wanting her to wait any longer than necessary, and he was surprised to see her in such a, well, _not_ Jemma outfit. Instead of her sensible shoes and usual skinny jeans and jumper, she wore a rather fitted dress that flared out at the bottom – which also seemed to emphasize her upper half in a distracting manner, but he tried his best not to stare – and what seemed to be five inch heels from his judgment, her meeting him at eye level. She looked bloody fantastic, to be honest, but her slightly defeated expression pulled Fitz out of his thoughts immediately, so he reached his arm out to touch her shoulder.

“Come on, then.”

Giving him a half smile, she stumbled into his apartment, obviously uncomfortable in her footwear and probably still a bit tipsy from the bar.

After closing the door behind him, he turned to face her hesitantly, placing his hands in the pockets of his pajama pants. “I’m sorry it didn’t go well,” he mumbled, looking down at his feet.

Tossing her hand up nonchalantly, she scoffed. “No, it’s fine. I’m over it already. I swear. I’d rather be here anyway.”

“Do you…want to talk about it?”

She didn’t answer him. Instead, she wrapped her arms around herself and walked a small circle around his living area. “Why is it so freezing?”

“Heating’s out. I’ll have to call maintenance in the morning.”

“And you’re sure you don’t mind me staying over? I could easily walk back to my apartment—”

“ _Simmons_ , you’re in a dress and heels. I’m not gonna let you go out there and freeze to death or break your ankles on the ice.”

She nodded. Reaching out for the bookcase on the wall for balance, she slipped off her first heel and let it drop heavily onto the floor, hesitantly placing her bare foot on the cold hardwood.

“Here, hold on.” Noticing her shiver, he moved quickly back to his bedroom and returned a few seconds later with a bundle of clothes between his hands. “You can borrow these.” He picked them out carefully, a bit embarrassed to think she would be wearing his clothes, but she looked miserably uncomfortable in her dress and bare feet, so he fetched her a pair of sweatpants, a t-shirt and hoodie, and the thickest socks he could find.

Her smile radiated up to her eyes as she took the bundle into her arms. “Thank you,” she whispered, bringing the clothing up to her face and giving them a subtle sniff.

They both stood frozen for a moment, neither of them quite sure what to do next.

“Do you want to…” Fitz trailed off, not meeting her eyes.

“I’ll just use your bathroom.”

“Good idea.”

When she returned to the living space looking much more comfortable, he had a kettle on the stove and two mugs set on the counter, making sure he found her favorite from the last time she stayed over – the dark navy one that lit up constellations when hot liquid was poured into it.

Through a sheepish expression, Jemma gestured toward his bedroom. “You can go back to sleep…”

“No, it’s fine. I couldn’t sleep anyway.” He topped off her tea with a splash of milk and handed the mug to her. Hoping to lift her spirits a bit, he then shuffled through his cabinet until he found his stash of mini M&M’s and tossed her the bag, which she swiftly caught with one hand.

She chuckled while pulling out a small handful. “Aren’t we being naughty?”

They settled onto the sofa, sharing a blanket and Jemma resting her legs across Fitz’s lap. This wasn’t an unusual occurrence for them, as it was nearly the fourth year into their friendship, and both had tested each other’s boundaries countless times before, invading each other’s space causally in the Academy lab and falling asleep on each other’s shoulders into the wee hours of the morning during study sessions. Still, Fitz felt his stomach flip slightly as she seemed to lean further into him, her hand resting comfortably on his knee under the blanket.

“Did you have any fun at all?” he asked.

“A little. It wasn’t a completely worthless night. Some of the girls were nice… _ish_.” She let out a heavy sigh. “It makes sense though. We have nothing in common. I’m never going to be interested in reality television or gossip magazines, so what’s the point in trying? Still, it would have been nice to have a girlfriend to talk to once in a while. I mean, I love you, Fitz, but you know…” She shrugged.

He didn’t really know where she was going with that sentence, as he was too hung up on hearing her utter a particular word near the end. If only she _knew_.

After finishing their tea and polishing off the last of the candy, it was settled she would sleep on the sofa, much to Fitz’s dismay. But she insisted, so he retrieved a pillow from his room and an extra blanket, hoping it would be enough to fight the chill hovering over the apartment. Before he turned to go back to his room, she pulled on his wrist.

“Thank you.” Lifting herself from sofa, she stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his middle, letting her head sink into his chest.

He left out a soft chuckle as he hesitantly returned the hug, lightly patting her on her back. “Don’t worry about it.” He pulled back to look at her at arms length. “Let me know if you need anything else. Don’t hesitate to knock.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

Once in his own bed, he tried to fall asleep. He _really_ tried. But the thought of her trying to sleep on that uncomfortable sofa alone after a night like hers didn’t seem right. Still, he didn’t want to seem overeager, so he waited another ten minutes before crawling out of his bed to fetch her. Quietly, he tiptoed around the side of the sofa to find her clutching the blanket up to her chin, a visible crease on her forehead. Carefully, as he didn’t want to startle her, he reached out a hand and placed it gently on her shoulder, shaking it slightly.

“Jemma,” he whispered.

“Hmm?” she replied, groaning as she pulled the blanket even closer to her chest.

“Jemma, you’re shivering.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, come on. The bed’s warmer.”

“ _Fitz_.”

“I said come _on_.”

Finally giving in to his pleading, she wrapped the blanket around her shoulders and took his hand to pull herself up from the sofa. Not letting go of her hand, he guided her to his room, a soft smile lingering on his face. When they entered his room, Jemma hesitated at the edge of the mattress.

“Do you have a side?” she asked.

“What? No, pick whichever you like.”

Nodding her head slowly, she collapsed heavily onto the bed and curled up beneath his comforter. Fitz tried to not think too much about the fact that she picked the side where he was previously trying to fall asleep, a clear indention in the mattress and pillow. He also tried hard not to notice how she seemed to sink deeply into his pillow as she lay on her side, her arm wrapped underneath to cradle it to her face as much as possible. She was just getting comfortable and trying to stay warm, he told himself.

Settling himself on the opposite end, he turned on his side to face her, but kept a reasonable distance between them. Before long, they both fell quiet, the only sound in the room their steady breathing and the whistling wind outside.

Suddenly, without opening his eyes, he sensed her lift her head slightly off her pillow.

“Fitz?” she asked, breaking their silence.

“Hmm?”

“Are you still cold?”

“A little, why?”

She didn’t answer, but instead shifted over to his side of the bed until she was curled into his chest, her hand gripping his t-shirt. “I don’t need any girlfriends to hang out with. You’re all I need.”

They stayed like this for a while, Jemma’s breathing slowly syncing up to his, but that didn’t keep his heart from hammering in his chest, which he assumed she noticed, much to his embarrassment. After some time, he thought she had finally fallen asleep, but the next thing he knew, she was slowly lifting her head from where his chin rested and reached up to softly touch her lips to the underside of his jaw. When he took in a quick breath at the sudden intimacy of her touch, she looked up to meet his eyes.

“Is this okay?” she asked softly.

He let out a small laugh. “Yeah. It’s more than okay.”

“Good.” She settled herself back against his chest, letting her head rest more comfortably under his chin and let out a heavy sigh. She was asleep within minutes.

Of course, Fitz gave up his attempt at falling back to sleep now that his best friend was all but sleeping comfortably on top of him. But he didn’t mind. It allowed him to think of what he would finally say to her, as it was about time he stopped dragging his feet. Four years of feelings weighed heavily on him, and he wasn’t going to wait any longer.

He would tell her in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


	8. Come here. Let me fix it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Before an important evening out with her father, Jemma tries to help Fitz with his nerves.

“There’s nothing to worry about, honestly!”

Jemma sat on the edge of the bed in their shared apartment listening to Fitz’s occasional groans coming from their en suite. She truly didn’t understand why he making such a fuss about his current predicament. To give him credit, it was a strange night, to be sure. For once, instead of the two of them preparing for a night out, with him usually waiting somewhat impatiently for her to finish getting ready, Jemma relaxed in her loungewear rather enjoying herself while Fitz struggled to decide on his wardrobe for the evening. And unlike other nights, Jemma wouldn’t be joining him at their favorite restaurant around the corner.

Half a dozen neckties were thrown haphazardly across the duvet as Fitz’s nerves made decision-making nearly impossible. Jemma found it rather humorous, as he was never one to care too much about his appearance, but she did admire how much effort he seemed to be putting into the occasion. To help him along, she decided the blue one was the best choice, as it was a favorite of hers and hoped it would bring him some luck for his mission.

She heard another groan from her boyfriend, and dropped her head in her hands.

“Easy enough for you to say,” he said, his voice echoing in a defeated tone. “ _You’re_ not the one asking for permission.”

Jemma huffed. “Technically, you’re asking for the both of us. It’s not like I don’t have a say in this. And what do you think he’s going to say? _No?_ ”

“I don’t know. He’s _your_ father!” He paused for a moment, and Jemma heard him throw something on the bathroom counter. “Shit,” he muttered softly.

Jemma scrunched her face, trying to decipher his change in tone. Yes, he was being a bit ridiculous with his worry, but now he sounded quite upset, so she scooted herself off the mattress and made her way to the bathroom. She paused once she reached the doorframe, not wanting to startle him. “What is it?” she asked, her voice full of concern.

Fitz stood in front of the mirror, his head bowed toward the sink. The blue necktie was half-hanging off the edge of the counter, having thrown it down in defeat. But what caught Jemma’s attention was Fitz’s hand trembling at his side, causing a lump to form in her throat.

He brought his other hand up to his forehead. “I can’t bloody get this…” he trailed off, gesturing toward the tie lying in front of him.

Jemma bit her lip. “Hey, it’s alright,” she said quietly. After approaching his side carefully, she wrapped herself around his middle while snaking one arm up his back to rest on his shoulder, squeezing gently to relieve the tension there. She felt his heart racing beneath his chest, and continued to kneed into his shoulder, but she knew he wouldn’t relax until she relieved the tension elsewhere. Lifting herself up on her toes to reach his cheek, she placed a small peck there before resting her forehead against his temple and whispering in his ear. “Give me your hand.”

He turned his face towards hers before nodding slowing and bringing his trembling hand between them. Jemma kept her eyes bright, a small smile lingering on her face as she pulled his hand between hers and used her thumbs to gently apply pressure to his palm and joints. She couldn’t remember the last time she needed to assist him this way, the pod incident occurring so long ago and his hand growing stronger and stronger after each passing year. But she knew his frustration usually brought it out, so she followed her usual routine and could already see the relief passing over his face.

Once the trembling seemed to cease, she brought his hand up and pressed her lips to his knuckles. “It’s okay to be nervous,” she said, smiling gently.

He closed his eyes and nodded.

“This is a big step for us,” she continued. “But my dad’s not going to bite. And I believe he’ll find it admirable that you’re asking for his permission in the first place. At this point, he probably assumed we would just elope without telling him and Mum.”

Fitz opened his eyes, meeting hers. “I know. I just hope he thinks…” Glancing elsewhere, he shook his head instead of finishing his thought.

“What?” she asked, tilting her head.

“That…I’m the best person for you.”

“ _Fitz_.”

“No, think about it,” he insisted. “It would make sense for him to want you to stay away from me after everything that’s happened to us since joining S.H.I.E.L.D. The last thing he would want is for his daughter to spend the rest of her life with someone who seems to attract tragedy—”

“Fitz, _stop_.” She waited for him to meet her eyes before continuing. “He doesn’t think like that. Do you know why?”

“Why?”

Jemma took in a heavy breath. “He knows how much we need and care about each other, understands that I wouldn’t be standing here _alive_ if it weren’t for you. He owes you a lot more than you know.”

Fitz lowered his eyes slightly. “You told him, didn’t you? About Maveth.”

“Of course, I did. He needed to know for his own sanity.” She paused to place her hands on the sides of his face, pleading with him to understand. “But he’s not going to agree to let you marry me simply because you saved my life. He’s going to give you permission because you’re the most loving and caring person he and I have ever met…and you just so happen to love _me_.”

At that, Fitz let out a short chuckle, and Jemma sighed in relief at finally breaking through to him. “He asks about you a lot, actually,” she added, biting her lip through her own giggles.

“Really?”

“Yes, he’s always going on about your projects, wanting to know what you’re up to.”

“And what do you tell him?”

“As much as I can say. But what I focus on is how brilliant you are, and how lucky I am to be by your side everyday, and how I never want that to change.” Reaching behind her, she picked up the tie from the counter and pulled it between her hands. “Come here. Let me fix it.”

Adjusting the tie to its proper length around his collar, she weaved the material into a secure knot, taking her time to make it as straight as possible, and then turned his collar down once she was satisfied. She stepped back to admire him at arms length and grinned brightly. “There. Much better.”

 

 

——

 

 

Jemma couldn’t keep herself from checking her phone every fifteen minutes for an update, but she hoped no news was good news in this case. Still, when she heard the turn of the key in the lock of their front door, she frantically raced out of the bedroom, anticipation getting the better of her.

Fitz made his way through the door causally, the dark apartment making it impossible for Jemma to decipher his expression. Once he turned after locking the door behind him, she surged forward and took hold of his hands.

“So? What did he say?”

A small smile crept on his face, but he simply shrugged in response.

“ _Fitz_ ,” she said, squeezing his hands pleadingly.

“I guess you’ll just have to wait to find out.”

“ _What?_ ”  

“Did you think I was going to propose when I walked through the door?”

“ _I_ don’t know. You’ve been unpredictable in the past!”

“Yeah, well, now I get to keep you on your toes.”

“ _Ugh_.” Through an exasperated sigh, she wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re going to torture me with this, aren’t you?” She sensed his smile as he buried his face in her shoulder.

“Oh, I fully intend to,” he replied through a chuckle before turning his head to kiss her neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [whatlighttasteslike](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://whatlighttasteslike.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


	9. Sweet dreams.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Fitz struggles to find peace after the events in the Framework, Jemma suggests a way to help him through his nightmares.

“I was wondering if you wanted to…try something different.”

Fitz moved his hand from behind his head to press his eyes shut, frustration clearly seeping through him after his previous near sleepless night. “Jemma, you can sleep in your own bunk. I won’t be offended.”

“No, that’s not what I mean.” She sat up on her side of the bed, pulling the blanket with her as a chill ran through her limbs, the unfamiliar living quarters making it difficult to relax. But even if she would never be completely comfortable in this new space, she hoped she could assist in his level of comfort. Turning her head, she reached out the pull at the edge of his t-shirt sleeve. “Maybe if we…hold each other  _before_  we fall asleep, it might help you stay asleep longer.”

They were lucky Jemma was even allowed to join Fitz in his bunk in the first place. They weren’t prisoners, technically, but they still didn’t have much of an idea who they were working for in the middle of outer space. After being thrown into this new life only hours after defeating AIDA, the team had little time to recover or adjust – especially Fitz. And with Jemma so concerned with his well-being, she didn’t really know where they stood in their relationship. 

She knew he was doing well considering what he went through in the Framework – he was eating, as well as working in the lab with her a few hours each day. But the physical side of their relationship was all but non-existent. There were small touches here and there, and Jemma didn’t want to push him too fast, so she maintained a safe distance. Still, he allowed her to sleep next to him a few inches away, which was a good thing since she seemed to be the only person to calm him when his dark memories of another life returned to him in the middle of the night. And these days, his nightmares were like clockwork.

Unfortunately, without access to proper medication, he thought there was little he could do to assist in his sleeping habits. But Jemma thought otherwise. He seemed to always sleep more soundly when they were curled up together at the center of his small cot, their limbs intertwined and them alternating sleeping against each other’s chests. Granted, they only ended up in this position after Jemma helped pull him out of a nightmare, often needing to pin his arms at his sides to keep him from injuring himself. She never asked about these haunting images that never ceased to consume him, figuring he would tell her eventually. But he never did. And when they woke each morning, untangling their limbs awkwardly before going their separate ways to prepare for the day, he was always quiet, the few hours of sleep he did receive not nearly enough to lift his spirits.

Currently thinking over her proposition, Jemma didn’t want to seem too forward, but the idea of sleeping in each other’s arms at the beginning rather than the middle of the night didn’t seem like the worst idea in the world.

Her lip curled into a half smile as she waited for him to consider her suggestion. “I’ve just noticed it seems to help,” she said through a shrug. “That’s all. But only if you want to, of course.” She allowed him to think it over, keeping her eyes kind to make sure he knew it was his decision.

Before long, Fitz pulled in his lips, and then gave her a small nod. “It’s worth a shot.”

She gave him a soft smile before making herself comfortable against his chest – their usual sleeping position from their bunk at the old S.H.I.E.L.D. base. She could hear his heart racing a bit, so she reached for his hand that was not currently wrapped around her shoulder and intertwined their fingers. As he let out a deep sigh, she lifted her head to find his eyes. “You’re sure this is okay?”

He nodded straightaway, his eyes brighter than she’d seen them a few minutes ago.

“Good,” she whispered before she returned her head to his chest, hoping the familiar position would bring him some peace, and was fast asleep almost instantly.

 

\-----

 

Almost ten hours later, Jemma stirred in the middle of a pleasant dream, the details already retreating from her memory, and realized the two of them hadn’t moved since they fell asleep what felt like days ago. After so many interrupted nights, she forgot how refreshing it was to get in a full night’s rest.

Fitz was still sound asleep, his arm still lightly clutching her shoulder. Careful not to wake him, she reached over to the bedside table to pick up his watch, and her eyes widened when she realized the time of day. For a moment, she worried about them getting into trouble for sleeping in so late, but then she let herself smile at this small victory.

Before she could set the watch back down, she heard him groan as he shifted on the mattress, pulling his arm from her shoulder to wipe his eyes. Jemma sat up next to him, waiting patiently for him to wake fully, but she couldn’t resist the urge to reach out and stroke his cheek lightly with the back of her fingers. “Morning,” she whispered softly.

He opened his eyes slowly, and Jemma was pleased to seem them rested. She couldn’t remember the last time she looked into his eyes without seeing darkness or pain behind them, so this sight added to her feelings of relief. His expression shifted however when he noticed her holding his watch. “What time is it?”

“Well past when we should be in the common area.” She handed him his watch so he could see for himself.

“Christ,” he muttered as he squinted at the watch’s face.

Jemma shrugged. “Don’t worry. I think Daisy can cover for us.” She nudged his bicep to get his attention. “You slept through the night. That’s good, right?”

When he met her eyes, he looked somewhat dazed, but nodded in agreement. “Yeah. I guess you’re right.”

He didn’t speak much after that, but Jemma wasn’t offended by his silence, assuming he was more stunned than anything else that he managed to get a full night’s rest without any disruptions. And it seemed to be enough to get him through the rest of the day without a visit from unwelcome memories, so Jemma was more than pleased.

On the fifth night of their new arrangement, Jemma didn’t even need to ask before Fitz positioned his arm across her pillow, inviting her to curl in next to him. And like that first night, they found sleep easily, Jemma slipping into a dreamless slumber as the beating of his heart against her ear calmed her mind.

But unlike the last few nights, where she didn’t wake until the morning, she found herself stirring just a few hours later on her own accord. Feeling the rise and fall of Fitz’s chest beneath her hand, she sensed he was awake as well, but he didn’t seem to be in distress. Instead, he seemed peaceful, his breathing even, and it was only then that Jemma realized his lips were pressed to the top of her head.

She slowly lifted her head to gaze up at him, finding his eyes instantly. “Hey.”

He answered her with a gentle smile.

“Is everything alright?” she asked.

“Yeah, it’s fine.”

Jemma shifted from his hold so she lay next to him, her head aligned with his on the pillow, and then narrowed her eyes in concern. “Was it one of your usual ones? You don’t seem to be…well, you didn’t move or anything like you usually…”

Fitz shook his head urgently. “No, it wasn’t one of those. I uhh…it was different. A good dream, actually.”

“Really?” she asked, her voice going up slightly.

“From what I can remember, anyway.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

He stared at the ceiling for a moment before turning his head back in her direction. “You were sixteen. At the Academy. Your hair was up like it always was and you were playing with the end of your ponytail while you read your chemistry book.” He paused to bite his lip. “But I knew it was a dream.”

“Why?” she asked curiously.

“Because after looking up from your book, you leaned over and kissed me.”

“Awww,” she said faintly, the corners of her eyes crinkling through her grin.

“Wouldn’t that have been nice?” he asked.

“What, two awkward teenagers trying to navigate the Academy and a romantic relationship? I don’t know, Fitz. We were both so shy back then. How would we have even talked about our feelings?”

For the first time in what seemed like ages, he chuckled, his natural smile shining through and radiating up to his eyes. “You’re right, but I mean more along the lines of…what it would have been like to be together for that long.”

She wanted to respond, but she suddenly didn’t know what to say. This was the first time he even alluded to their relationship, and he didn’t seem to think there  _wasn’t_  one, which was good. But she still couldn’t decipher his feelings about the matter.

He obviously noticed her change in expression, narrowing his eyes as he tilted his head slightly. “What is it?”

Jemma bit her tongue as she tried to find the right words. “We haven’t really spoken about our relationship since…” She sighed, hoping he understood her meaning.

Fitz closed his eyes as he nodded his head. “I know.”

“I didn’t want to bring it up because I wanted to give you enough time to…cope with what you’re going through. Do you want to? Speak about it?”

He let out a long breath before facing her again. “I think what we’re doing right now… _this_ …it’s good. It’s helping. And I want to keep going forward if you want that too.”

Jemma, unable to contain her need for some form of contact, reached for his shoulder and gripped it fiercely. “Of course, I do. Did you think I didn’t want this?”

“I don’t know. You’re being so supportive, and you would do that for anyone on our team, not just me.”

“Fitz. You’re not just another member of the team. You’re  _you_.” She paused once she realized the extent of what she was about to say to him. Over the past few weeks since arriving at this base, Fitz had said little to her about his feelings, choosing to keep them buried as his way of processing. But she hadn’t done much in sharing her own feelings either, and she suddenly felt the need to be straightforward with him.

Scooting herself forward, she leaned into his pillow until their foreheads were nearly touching. “I’m never going to stop wanting this.” She watched as he took in a quick breath before she continued. “Me being here isn’t just me supporting you as you recover. It’s me being with you - in this relationship - no matter what happens. You’re the most important person in my life, and that’s never going to change. I promise.”

Fitz closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and letting out what seemed to be a sigh of relief. “Me too. I know it might not seem like it, but…I’m getting there. I think we’re getting there.”

“You are. I can see it,” Jemma said while squeezing his arm. “And yeah, I think we are, too. Getting there.”

“I think it’s just going to take some time.”

“I’m okay with that.” After one last smile, she lifted herself up and shifted back into his arms. “Come on. It’s late, or  _early_ ,” she said. “We can still get in a few more hours. Maybe you can find out what happens after sixteen-year-old me kisses you.”

For a moment, she wished she could enter the dream alongside him since all she wanted to do was kiss him then. As she arranged herself into their established sleeping position, she knew she could so easily just reach up and gently press her lips to his. But it wasn’t the moment for that. Not yet, anyway. So she settled on sinking into his side and placing her lips on his chest before relaxing into his hold for the rest of the night. It wasn’t the heart racing touch she craved, but it was a start.

“Night Jemma,” he murmured into the dark room.

“Goodnight Fitz.”  _And sweet dreams_.


	10. A Joyful Addition

_ Near Future  _

_ ~ _

Jemma snuggled closer to Fitz’s chest as the sun crept through their bedroom window, slowing pulling him from his slumber. The quiet Saturday morning allowed them to sleep in longer than usual, but with their newfound responsibility, it wouldn’t be long before they were forced out of bed to tend to the new addition to their family.

Fitz groaned and pulled on Jemma’s shoulder to hold her more closely to his side. “Morning,” he mumbled.  

“Good morning,” she said softly as she sighed contently. “Did you sleep alright?”

“Yeah, can’t complain. Better than the night before.”

“Oh, yes. Definitely better than the night before. She just wouldn’t fall asleep, poor thing. Although, once we brought her in here with us, I swear she was out in two seconds flat.”

“Yeah, well, can you blame her? She wants to be with her mum.”

She lifted her head slightly to scoff at him. “Oh, please. She loves you more than me and you know it.”

“Well, I won’t argue with that.”

Jemma playfully nudged him in the side, which Fitz quickly retaliated. Through a fit of giggles, she rolled until she was sprawled out on top of him with her arms wrapped around his waist. Resting her head against his chest, she listened to his heartbeat while he lightly played with the tangles in her hair.

“You’re going to spoil her, aren’t you?” she asked.

“I mean, she is our first, so naturally, yes. I think that’s bound to happen.”  

“It’s alright. I’ll probably do the same.”

“Speaking of which, I think I’ll have to go out and get some more toys.”  

“More toys?!” she exclaimed as she shot up her head from his chest. “Fitz, she has plenty! Way more than I believe are necessary, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Yes, but she doesn’t seem to be too interested in the ones we got her, so maybe we need to add some variety. Maybe mix up the animals some, you know? She loves the elephant one, but I don’t think she’s too keen on the rabbit, surprisingly. I’m still keeping my eyes peeled for a monkey.”

“Of course, you are. Okay, but if you get any more toys that make noise, I swear to God…” she rambled on as she shifted herself up to align her face with his.

“I won’t. I promise. She’s got plenty of those to keep her busy. Daisy made sure of that. And of course, she likes those the best.”

“Yes, naturally,” she agreed, rolling her eyes. “What time is it?” she asked, now stretching over him to get a glimpse of the clock on their nightstand.

“Almost seven.”

Jemma let out a groan of her own as she collapsed back onto Fitz’s chest. “Hmm. Five more minutes. Or ten. Or twenty.”

“That sounds nice. Too bad she’s probably going to start crying any minute now.”

“I knew it was going to be a lot to handle, obviously,” she said after releasing a deep sigh. “But I didn’t expect it to be this exhausting, especially between the two of us. And messy.”

“Yeah, she sure does know how to make a mess. But I’ll handle the morning business this time. You can keep sleeping.”

“Thank you,” she whispered before placing a small peck on his cheek. When she pulled back, his face was suddenly serious.

“But she does make you happy, right?” he asked hesitantly.

“Of  _course_ ,” she replied through a chuckle. “Incredibly so.”

“Good.”

Untangling himself from their embrace, Fitz shifted off the bed as Jemma rolled over onto his pillow. She breathed in his scent and closed her eyes, hoping to get in a few more minutes of rest before her new mum duties kicked in. But she truly didn’t mind. She wasn’t too keen on the idea of expanding their family so soon after leaving their positions at S.H.I.E.L.D, but with a little convincing from Fitz, she knew it was the right decision. After so much tragedy and hardship, they deserved some much-needed joy in their lives. And even if what they gained in joy they lost in hours of sleep, it was well worth it. Plus, it would only get easier once the little one continued to grow before their eyes.

After nearly falling back to sleep, as Fitz always tried to be as quiet as possible, she heard him gently turn the knob of their bedroom door and the squeak of the hinges as he opened it slowly. Before she knew it, she was reunited with the little one, and Jemma was instantly alert and ready to give all her attention to her favorite girl.

“Awww, good morning Posey! How’s my best girl? Were you good this morning? Did you wee?”

“Yes, she did. Multiple times. On the newspapers, luckily. I already cleaned it up.”

“Oh, that’s okay. You’ll be all trained in no time.”

The tiny springer spaniel puppy clambered her way across the sheets and onto Jemma’s chest in order to pepper her mum’s face with kisses. She wagged her small tail back and forth in a frenzy, and Fitz chuckled as the puppy lost her balance and fell flat on Jemma’s chest.

He shook his head and chuckled lightly. “I don’t understand why you think she loves me more.”

“Because you give her far too many treats, that’s why,” Jemma replied pointedly as she lifted the puppy from her chest and cradled her in her arms. “We’ll have to figure out a plan for that. Oh, I can make a calendar with a schedule!”

“Okay, now, that’s a bit excessive.”

“No, it’s not! We want a healthy and strong pup, don’t we Pose?”

The pup obviously didn’t respond to her question, but continued to try to climb her way up to Jemma’s face, clearly having the most energy out of the three of them on the quiet morning.

“We needed this,” Fitz said quietly. 

“I know.”

“Baby next?” 

“Oh God, no. I can’t even think about adding another living creature to this household, let alone a human child. This one is enough for now.”

Fitz raised his eyebrow as he continued to watch Jemma coo over their small bundle of joy. “Yeah, we’ll see about that.”


	11. A Little Healthy Competition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Written for TFSN‘s Fanfiction Friday Challenge - For Science! Week Four Prompt - Competition
> 
> Part III in my New Parents Universe. Read [Part I](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9618068/chapters/21729344) and [Part II](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9618068/chapters/22663529).

The kitchen of their modest apartment was in complete disarray, but Jemma truly didn’t mind. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d performed an actual science experiment since giving birth to her daughter, as she was too busy navigating being a mum and her role as S.A.D.I.S.T. at the revived S.H.I.E.L.D headquarters to even think about being in the lab regularly. 

Charlotte currently looked on from her booster seat at the breakfast table - the two-year-old wonder - as her parents mixed the different concoctions to create what they hoped would be a satisfying pass time for their young daughter. 

“No, you have to stay on your side,” Fitz exclaimed, shoving Jemma in the side as she attempted to reach across his designated work station. 

Placing her hands on her hips, she huffed and shook her head. “I don’t understand why this has to be a competition! Either way, she’s going to be happy.” She looked sideways at her husband as she resumed stirring the ingredients in a small bowl. 

“Yes, well, we haven’t done anything like this in ages. What’s the harm in a little fun?”

“ _Fine_. Just pass me the pink food coloring, would you?”

It wasn’t the most complicated experiment, to be sure. Making homemade slime was hardly next level chemistry, but they figured they would kill two birds with one stone - getting themselves back in the lab (granted, the makeshift one of their kitchen), and satisfying their daughter’s boredom.  

After a few finishing touches, Jemma stepped back from the counter satisfied with her creation. “There. Are you done with yours?”

“Just gimme one sec…” 

Jemma chuckled as she watched him shuffle about, the man clearly taking the competition seriously. 

Once he found what he was looking for - the green food coloring hidden in the back of a cabinet - he quickly stirred the substances together and placed the finished creation in a small plastic container. “Okay, I’m ready.” 

The pair slowly approached their rather impatient daughter at the table, keeping their containers of slime hidden behind their backs.

“Now, dear - we won’t be offended by which one you like better, obviously,” Jemma said.

“Obviously,” Fitz agreed. 

“But we want you to be as honest as possible.”

Charlotte shifted her eyes between the two, her small brain clearly not comprehending anything they were saying. 

Jemma rolled her eyes playfully. “Let’s just give them to her,” she uttered. 

Together, they set down their finished products and stepped back to observe as Charlotte looked down at the table in wonder. Once Fitz caught sight of Jemma’s creation, he scoffed. 

“Wait, you added glitter to yours?” he asked accusingly. 

“Of course, I did,” she replied with a triumphant smile. “I want to win.”

To Jemma’s delight, Charlotte eagerly picked up the pink glittered slime and squeezed it gently, the substance oozing between her tiny fingers. But after a few minutes of play, instead of putting Jemma’s slime down to move on to the next, she kept hold of it and picked up the second wad of slime - Fitz’s traditional green creation - and began squeezing and twisting the two together. When the two substances latched onto each other to form a swirling pattern of color and glitter, Charlotte squealed and sought out her parents’ eyes, clearly satisfied in engineering her own creation. 

Jemma sighed heavily. “She’s too clever for her own good. I suppose it’s a draw, then.” 

“We should have seen this coming,” Fitz said, shaking his head. 

Jemma stepped forward to assist Charlotte in spreading the slime out onto the table to create a colorful landscape across the surface. “I guess two is always better than one, anyway,” she said through a smile. 


	12. if only for a little while.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A 5x08 Coda.

The wall of the Zephyr was an unforgiving place to drift off, but Jemma couldn’t bear to call any attention to her own discomfort even as her temple throbbed against the hard surface. Robin was gone, and for all they knew, so was their answer as to how to get home. The clues she provided in her drawings were still just that - fragments of time already passed or yet to come, with nothing but faith to string them together. 

They left May alone with her, the pair sharing a connection stronger than anyone would ever truly know. Maybe if they were lucky, Robin gave her one last piece of the puzzle before welcoming death like a long lost friend. But they didn’t know for sure and wouldn’t know until May returned, so they waited. 

Jemma let her eyes flutter shut as she exhaled slowly, her hand still balanced on Fitz’s knee. The ringing in her ear had finally ceased hours ago, but her headache still raged on, along with several other aches sustained during their crash landing on the surface. 

“Jemma?” His voice was soft, and she sensed him leaning towards her. 

“Hmm?” she replied faintly. 

“You okay?” He let go of her hand only to place it along the nape of her neck. 

Lifting her head from the side of the plane, she pressed her chin to her chest to stretch her neck, and then looked up meet his eyes. “M’fine. Just can’t remember the last time I slept.” 

“Come on,” he urged, clutching the collar of her jacket as he half pulled her into his lap. 

She groaned in protest. “The team will probably need us any min—” 

“A little while won’t hurt.” 

She surrendered without another word, the throbbing already letting up as she eased her head into his lap and curled her hand around his thigh. With her movement, her braid fell in front of her face, so Fitz positioned it back into place down her back. 

And then she couldn’t help the subtle smile that spread across her face as she felt his fingers moving through her hair, gently letting out the fastening at the end and unraveling the gold ribbon, his careful hands never tugging too tightly. The snug braid was the only remaining physical evidence of her time spent as the blue demon’s slave, so she was relieved to finally let it go and feel comfortable in her own skin again. Once the braid was free, he pocketed the ribbon and then continued to lightly card his fingers through her hair, the wavy strands now cascading across his lap. 

Letting out a soft sigh, she snuggled closer. “Thank you.” 

“Better?” 

“Much better.” 

She couldn’t fall asleep, for all of her worries of what trouble lay ahead haunted her mind: the monolith fragment, Daisy’s inhibitor, Mack and Elena. But for now, the gentle rhythm of his fingers stroking through her hair and the safety of his lap were enough to help her rest if only for a little while, and his promise to never leave her side a comfort for when the sacred quiet moment eventually came to an end.


	13. Welcome! Everything is fine.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a short AU of The Good Place - spoilers for s1

“They’re gonna find out eventually, right? That we cracked it?”

Fitz nodded his head slowly as he placed his hands on his hips. “I mean, that’s the way it’s always gone, apparently.”

In a matter of hours, what would normally be weeks’ worth of research had spread across nearly every surface of Jemma and Fitz’s shared living space. But it seemed only natural that it would take them such a short amount of time. As they’d lived the same lives over and over again, the details were much easier to pin down. And now they stood side by side staring at the mountain of evidence – this wasn’t the Good Place, the oasis they were promised in the afterlife. And they were in trouble.

Jemma slowly exhaled as she lowered her gaze to the floor. “And then?” she asked weakly.

“And then they’ll do what they always do: reboot the Good Place, or whatever bloody place this is, and wipe our memories. So, we’re back to square one.”

“I feel like I should be more surprised, but I guess we’ve figured this out, what, 274 times before?”

Fitz bent over to retrieve the last of his calculations, the moment where they determined exactly how many lives they’d lived before discovering the truth. He chuckled lightly. “That would be correct.”

Jemma managed a weak laugh even though she truly wanted to burst into tears. She didn’t want to think about all the memories lost, all that time just gone from existence. She shook her head in disbelief. “Now I just feel hopeless. Because after all this time, after every reboot, we can’t figure out how to fix this. You’d think by now we would have figured out a way to—to escape this place or something.”

Fitz pressed his lips into a firm line. “I know. It’s obviously not that easy.”

Sinking down onto the small step that led to their bedroom, Jemma dropped her chin to her chest and ran her fingers through her hair. As Fitz took the place next to her, Jemma noticed how he was suddenly hesitant to even touch her, which made her heart sink.

In this version of the Good Place, they’d spent nearly a month together before they’d realized something was off about their so-called peaceful afterlife. Before their suspicions emerged, something almost beautiful had blossomed between them – a connection Jemma had never experienced in her life on Earth. They hadn’t officially considered themselves a couple, necessarily, as they didn’t want to rush things – they had all of eternity in store for them, after all. And yet that very morning, mere hours before Fitz brought forth his theory that the Good Place wasn’t what it seemed, Jemma had planned to confess her true feelings for him that evening. But now, with the entirety of the world put into question, the atmosphere of their near dreamlike relationship had shifted, and Jemma sadly wondered if they were even soulmates in the first place.

She wanted to reach out to him as they sat in silence, to link her arm through his and pin herself to his side like she’d done countless times over the last few weeks, the bliss of their new relationship nearly infectious. But he was stiff as a board, and she didn’t want to force him into anything now that the whole soulmate thing was probably rubbish.

“We’re supposed to find peace in the afterlife,” Jemma uttered as she wrapped her arms around her knees.  

“But this is torture. Losing our memories each time, it’s madness.”

“Why do you think they picked us?” she asked, turning to face him. “What did we do on Earth to deserve this?”

“Maybe that’s just it. It’s not about us. It’s just a game to them. Find some innocent souls, put them in a supposed paradise, and then rip the rug out from under them. Over and over again for pure amusement. I’m sure whoever they are, they’re having a blast finding new ways to make our afterlives miserable.”

“Like the sinkhole in the frozen yogurt shop?”

“Yeah, or watching a dog get thrown into the sun,” he replied, his lip just curling into a smile.

When he nudged her side, she finally let out a genuine chuckle. Even though the strange occurrences meant to make their lives miserable were horrendous and downright outrageous, they weren’t always too bad. When the sinkhole emerged out of nowhere on a relatively uneventful afternoon, Fitz pulled Jemma into his arms in two seconds flat. They couldn’t die, obviously, but the feeling of his heart racing where she was pressed against his chest – it made her realize that she would do just about anything to make sure he was okay. And she suspected he felt the same.

“What do you want to do now?” Fitz asked her.

“I don’t know. I guess we’ll just have to sleep on it.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” For a moment, he hesitated before pushing himself off the step. “I’ll take the couch.”

Jemma knew he was simply being a gentleman, but it still pained her to see him already growing distant. She didn’t blame him, as it was all suddenly so confusing. But she also didn’t know how long they’d have in this version before it was all over.

Pushing herself up, she trailed his quiet footsteps, following him to their kitchen. “Fitz?”

He placed a water bottle on the counter before turning around, keeping his head down slightly as he hummed in response.  From her spot a few meters away, Jemma could make out a slight redness in his eyes.

“You don’t have to. Take the couch, I mean. You can stay in the room. It’s ours, anyway.”

“Right, well, I just didn’t know how you were feeling since we might not even be soulmates—”

“I don’t care about that. What we felt was real. What we _feel_ is real.” She paused and watched as he swallowed hard, his eyes shifting to her feet. She struggled to push down a similar lump forming in her throat. “You don’t have to, of course. But I think we’d sleep better that way.”  

He looked at her feet a few moments more before meeting her eyes. “Okay,” he agreed, nodding his head and letting her lead the way.

Once they went about their normal nightly routine, they found themselves laying at opposite ends of the bed staring at the ceiling. Every other night before this (in this reboot, anyway), they’d spent the moments before falling asleep talking up a storm. With so much in common and full lives worth of memories on Earth without the other, they had quite a lot to talk about. But now, the silence between them was deafening.

After a few moments of listening to each other’s breaths, Fitz broke the silence as he shifted on the bed towards their nightstand. “Do you want me to turn out the—”

“Do you think about it?”

“Hmm?”

She still didn’t face him, but she could feel him settle back onto his pillow, his eyes now on her. “What we were like in the other versions. I mean, statistically speaking, it probably went about nearly the same way every time, considering the reboots don’t cause any shifts in our personalities or memories from Earth.”

“That’s true.”

“But there were bound to be some outliers.” She paused for a moment to close her eyes. “You probably hated me on a number of occasions.”

At first, he didn’t respond, and Jemma nearly rolled over to avoid his gaze, but then she felt something brush against her arm before his hand found hers underneath the sheets.

“Nah, that’s impossible.”

 

 

—–

 

 

The next day, when they met their identical fate and were wiped of their memories, starting the cycle all over again, Jemma wouldn’t recall what happened after he took her hand, or even that he took it at all.

She wouldn’t remember the time they spent exploring their new neighborhood together, their trips to the zoo, their late-night conversations about science and the universe.

She wouldn’t remember him saving her from falling into the sinkhole.

She wouldn’t remember his racing heart.

But most importantly, she wouldn’t remember their final night together. Gone was the memory of how they turned toward the center of the bed and found each other’s eyes, a soft glow casting across his features from their bedside lamp.

Gone was the memory of how she found her hand molding along his jawline, the gaze of his bright blue eyes sending shivers down her spine before they finally met in the middle.

Gone was the memory of the electricity of his lips when they touched hers for the first time, how he seemed to melt into her as if he’d been waiting his entire life, or multiple lives it seemed, to take this leap with her, a leap that felt like the most natural thing in the world. She wouldn’t remember the gentle give and take of their lips moving together as their hands began to explore places previously left untouched.

Gone was the memory of when they finally became one.

The next day, she wouldn’t remember the tips of his fingers brushing against her skin to catch the stray tear trailing down her cheek, their heavy breaths filling the quiet room, or the moment when she finally uttered the words she’d saved for that night. It only took him a moment to catch his breath, but in this new life, she wouldn’t remember how he whispered the same three words against her hair.

But when they did meet again the next day, when they’re introduced supposedly for the first time and given their home and the promise of a forever future with each other as soulmates, something would come back to her. It wouldn’t be the memory of his chuckle against her ear, or his sentiments from that night that everything would work out alright as long as they had each other.

It would be a feeling. At first, it would just be a flicker, a whisper of a memory of something between them. She wouldn’t understand at first – why his voice was somehow familiar or how she already knew how to curl herself into him as if they were puzzle pieces long lost under a rug only to finally find their way home.

But she would understand. And this time, it wouldn’t take her nearly as long.  

 

 

—–

 

 

Jemma trailed her finger across Fitz’s cheek, and then further down to trace patterns against his chest. “What if we won’t feel this – in the next reboot?”

His breath tickled her forehead as he pulled her in closer. “Trust me. We will.”


	14. I'll Be Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> prompt: Stay there. I'm coming to get you. + Season 2 Angst

When he received the short text saying she was just a few minutes from the Playground, Fitz couldn’t keep himself from pacing the lab. Everyone was doing what they could to work through the loss - some better than others - but he couldn’t really focus on his own feelings about the sudden tragedy. All he could think about was how Jemma was feeling and how she probably wouldn’t want to be alone in a few moments.

He didn’t know how they were – or if there was even a _they_ to speak of – but he knew for certain the loss was hitting her harder than she let on. He never truly knew the depth of her and Trip’s relationship, as his own jealously got in the way, but Trip was more than just a member of the team, especially to Jemma. And right now, even though there was so much distance between the two of them, Fitz knew they shouldn’t let the tension get in the way of their healing.

Things did seem to be looking up, if only slightly. It wasn’t nearly as awkward to be in the same room with each other. Even considering the physical barriers of their hazmat suits, he found her hovering more than usual, but not in a patronizing way. And when they were alone and first felt the rumbles of the cave, it was near instinct to pull her into his arms and hold on for dear life. She didn’t have time to protest, but the way she clung to him, her eyes filled with worry, told him she didn’t want him to let go. When the vibrations stopped and the area grew silent, she slowly looked up to meet his eyes. And for a moment, it felt like they were back at the Academy, or on the Bus, and all of the terrible things that had happened to them were a lost memory.

But all that was before they learned of Trip’s tragic fate.

Fitz’s phone buzzed a second time, and he saw her name light up his screen. He never used to think much of simple exchanges like these. It used to be second nature to tell each other everything. But since her stint undercover, he couldn’t remember the last time they’d had a conversation that extended past two messages.

_We landed. Just finishing up a few things._

The straightforward message didn’t help him to decipher her feelings. Without thinking, he carefully typed out a reply.

**_Stay there. I’m coming to get you._ **

His thumb hovered over the send key as he continued to waver whether she even wanted him to find her. But he remembered the look on her face when, together, they found out what happened in the cave. He’d seen that look many times before: when they nearly lost Skye in the field. At the bottom of the ocean. And of course, when his coma broke and he couldn’t even form the syllables to say her name. He hoped he’d never have to see that look again, the look behind her eyes that meant she was about to crumble. But here they were.

At the last moment, he decided against the text, but chucked his phone in his pocket as he made his way quickly out of the lab in route to the hanger.

When he found her, she was looking down at her clipboard and giving orders to the other agents on the ramp. Not wanting to startle her, he softly made his way up the ramp and hovered behind her for a moment before extending his hand forward.

There were a lot of things he wanted to do. He wanted to pull her into his arms and not let go. He wanted to hold her hand and find a place for them to be alone so they could work through their feelings together. He wanted to tell her how sorry he was for the way he acted when they first brought Trip on to the team. But more than anything, he wanted to tell her how he wanted to be there for her and if she needed anything at all, he would be there. He would always be there.

But they were still different people. When they were in the cave together, something shifted, almost as if they were finding their way back to each other. But he didn’t know if they would ever be as close. So instead of wrapping her up and cradling her to his chest, instead of carefully intertwining their fingers, instead of saying anything at all – he simply placed his hand on her shoulder. He hoped it was enough.

She didn’t flinch at his touch, almost as if she were expecting him. Stoking his thumb slowly back and forth, he looked down at his feet to just let the moment be. But then he heard her inhale sharply and the distinct sound of her fighting back tears, and suddenly, she reached to clutch his hand on her shoulder.

She didn’t turn around. He didn’t expect her to. 

But that was okay. 

If this was what she needed - for him to simply _be_ there, then that’s what he would do. 

After a few moments, Jemma took in some deep breaths before letting go of his hand. Curling her hair behind her ear, she turned around and gave him a single nod. Not sure exactly what to do next, Fitz placed his hands in his pockets and watched as she looked down at her clipboard, resuming her previous task.

“Jemma?” He could see her bite her bottom lip, and when she looked up, her eyes were still swimming, her cheeks now flushed a stark pink. “I’ll be around… if you need anything.” 

She initially didn’t respond, but his hopeful gaze seemed to trigger something within her. “Okay,” she said, a whisper of a sad smile now forming on her face. 

Turning to leave, Fitz flexed his hand at his side. Whether the sudden tingling in his joints was due to his injury or simply the familiar ache of no longer feeling her skin pressed against his, he didn’t know.

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me on tumblr at [mylifemyheartmyhome](http://mylifemyheartmyhome.tumblr.com)! You can also request a FS fic by choosing from [this list](http://mylifemyheartmyhome.tumblr.com/post/159271945484/one-hundred-ways-to-say-i-love-you)! <3


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